The Marrying Maiden

a.k.a. your body as subject/object

I wish there was another name for Hexagram 54, but no matter what translation you look at it is The Marrying Maiden. I probably wish that because though I love the word maiden and all it implies, culturally we seem lost to her. These days maiden is a somewhat antiquated word, a word that evokes beautiful, lithesome and innocent young women, women unacquainted with sexual congress and its haunts. Societally, we don’t give much credence to the wisdom of such women, or even acknowledge such a state.

The state I refer to is the state of being at the mercy of powers beyond your control. In ancient times, young women were subjected to their family’s drive for wealth and power through marriage. They were often used as bargaining chips, their beauty a form of currency. Bodily beauty is still our currency, but now it is certainly not limited to women. Everyone tries to control their bodies, whether it be through diet or exercise, through sexual labor or physical labor, it is customary, ordinary even, to expect one’s body to heed our wishes. Ironically, regardless of the locus of our control, our bodies try hard to heed our wishes, they strive to keep us upright and happy, regardless of what we subject them to.

Our Inquiry for the Week: Guidance for tending to our physical bodies this week as we navigate our world, both inner and outer aspects.

We received Hexagram 54 - The Marrying Maiden- Gui Mei, as our initial hexagram with Line 2 and Line 5 changing to Hexagram 17- Following - Sui. Strangely, coincidentally, Hexagram 17 is another hexagram the name for which the translation does not vary. I could be very bold and say that the one line pith instruction of this reading is; invariably listen to your body. The body is always telling the truth, always speaking to you through the language of sensation. The body cannot lie. And very much like an innocent maiden, it is frequently the subject of our many machinations and activities. But this reading suggests that for this week, we would do well to simply listen, to tune in, receive and heed the communications from our precious bodies.

The Marrying Maiden is all about a radical change of state that occurs without your control or consent and the question of how you maintain your dignity and integrity when such a thing happens. The main way we can keep our connection to ourselves is to recognize and acknowledge our own desires. It isn’t about acting on those desires, but instead, as a form of maturity and wisdom, you recognize what those desires are and keep working to keep them in view while being flexible and adaptable in the world around you. In this reading Hexagram 17 shows the way you can remain flexible and adaptable.

Hexagram 17- Sui, has both the meaning of following and pursuing. Pursuing is a form of following but it implies that we have lost the inner connection, referring to the experience of following in the outer world, following the will of others, following the instructions, the needs or desires of others. Following in the inner sense is the subtle but palpable sensation of one’s own physical body communicating and tending to it. Following in the inner sense can often manifest as what you might call pain. Culturally speaking, we have marginalized bodies because they speak the language of pain. We have demonized pain, even as it remains our first and most primal language. Without the demon of pain, however, we cannot experience pleasure, in fact, some would say that very pleasurable sensation can feel exactly like pain.

In our first changing line, Line 2, a yang changing line, we are confronted with disappointment, a forceful shift that goes somewhere we might not have wished for. This occurs because we let ourselves be swayed by the opinions or needs of others, prioritzing others over our physical well-being. “It is better to be like the hermit: self-sufficient, not attempting to change the situation, but staying quietly loyal to your own insight.” says Hilary Barrett of this line. She goes on to say “The hermit has inner independence; she is the same person whether or not anyone is watching.”

So, this is the principle to carry us through; knowing our own essence, our own desire and to stay true and loyal to our own being, in this case our physical being, our physical needs, through any external changes.

Jasmine, the essential oil for this week, strongly connects us with our own essence and illuminates our relationship with our own desires. It can create movement through our desire on a physical, emotional or spiritual level. In the context of our reading, the invitation is to navigate our experience with our own desire without losing the connection to the physical experience of ourselves. Possibly even more than simply not losing the connection, we might even feel moved to express or release aspects of our pain/sensation through physical movement, voice or art of any kind. Jasmine brings our blood, the mix of spirit and substance that sustains our post-natal life, to our awareness, not necessarily bringing it literally to the surface, but bringing it to our attention as desire. The connection here between the physical needs of the body and our desires is the experience of moving into form, into the body as the vehicle for our spirit. The spirit in the body is then the soul, the living embodiment of our purpose, our essence in relationship to our world.

This spirit in body, the soul, speaks to the second half of our inquiry, to the question of how to navigate both the inner and outer worlds. We can be simple and allow the soul moving through us to guide us. Such a soul can use our words, our movement, our vision, our hearing, even our speaking to communicate with us. But we will only hear if we listen. And if we listen, in this case, for this week, the suggestion is that we should follow, follow what we hear, see, intuit without judgement or complaint.

Jasmine essential oil can support us in all our efforts, in our listening, in our deepening connection and in our release or expression. Literally it can bring pain relief, relief through knowledge of where such pain lives in one’s own experience. Emotionally it can bring a reckoning and a release through our loving attention. Spiritually, Jasmine can bring us awareness of our most potent and innermost desires. Some say that Jasmine, as a strong and profound base note, is narcotic, opiod-like, and can act as an aphrodiasiac. It will last a very long time in the air and on the body, so once again, and always with essential oils, less is more. Start with a toothpick amount or the merest drop in hot water to inhale. Allow ample time to absorb, integrate all the sensations that might arise. Follow your body’s desire. See where that goes.

It might be interesting to recollect your own experience of your body through your life. How did you experience your body before you became sexually active? How did it speak to you? Did you listen?

Please comment, share and experiment with all that shows up here. This is a collective inquiry and will benefit from each of us contributing. Monday morning sessions are free and recordings of the live session are available through the Podcast . The link for Monday mornings is the same each week and no prior attendance is ever necessary.