The Winged Things
Good morning!
It is still morning though late in the technical morning and I am here despite the new rhythms that would seem to say not today. I’m still keen to share, though the filling and emptying of the well goes at a mysterious rate. I so appreciate your reading even when the stream is an unpredictable flow. Despite my aspiration to bring you moments from many parts of the week, I still find myself here on the day itself without a set agenda. I guess that I do like it that way; the spontaneous flow of the moment, the freshness and excitement of that. Still, I really do want to find the discipline and curiousity to see what might happen if I write to you from other points in the week. To that end, this delicate creature was my guest yesterday.
They appeared first thing in the morning on my door, a glowing green beauty that seemed stopped in time. As they remained still when I opened the door, I thought for sure that they were dying or dead. I sat with them, soaking in the fineness and fragile air of their whisper-length life. I expected at any moment that they would topple to the ground, a paperly lifeless being. Instead they remained fixed to the door for hours, moving ever so slowly upward, spreading their wings and developing rents to their edges that pained me to see. I was preparing for the inevitable, the moment of death. I waited as any deathwatcher can wait; patiently, sadly and tenderly.
I took many pictures. And when I thought they were finally through with life, I reached out to take their body from the door to the trees for release. At that moment, they fluttered gently, confused by my touch. Surprised, I tried again. How could it be that there was still life in those thin wings? How could they have been so still for so many hours beached on the glass?
Then, they fluttered off. Clumsy at first, landing on the shoe rack and then on the railing, before finally veering off into the sky. Was this a last journey? Why had they come to my door? Strangely, but not uncharacteristicly, I love to be reminded of temporal life, of the ever-present reality of death. I actually relish the sensation that accompanies the loss of even the smallest life, a reminder of my own hubris, the prideful place I cling to, just as this moth was clinging to my door. I think I will get to live until my purpose is done. I think I will get to have my say.
Perhaps the key point of those statements is that they are simply thinking and nothing more. Think anything you like, there is nothing to say it is true. Nothing really. Life is temporal. And everything we experience is temporal. What to do in the face of this truth is the ongoing question in the life of the spirit. It is the question that has motivated many a spiritual teacher, perhaps especially Siddhartha Gautama, the one we now call Buddha.
When I spend time with the winged ones, the very temporary and mysterious lives that grace the fields, gardens and forests, I feel both a wistful longing and a kind of relief. The longing is to know and understand the mystery of the ease with which some creatures come and go. The relief is that I know their example can bring me ease in my own suffering. Perhaps it is odd to feel such relief as I watch the natural world live and die, but such is my sensation. Life and death are natural companions.
As I do periodically, perenially, I begin to contemplate death and impermanence on purpose. I bring to mind this very experience, this very not-knowing knowing that permeates everything and I practice resting in that truth. It is like gazing into a body of water, or standing under a waterfall. Such a contemplation brings cleansing to the soul and nourishment to life. Yes, the contemplation of death and impermanence brings joy to life. True.
You can join me in these contemplations beginning in September if you feel so inclined. Meanwhile, a few more winged things for your pleasure.
P.S. Please help me grow my readership by sharing, liking and commenting if these notes are inspiring or useful to you. You have to go to the Substack website or to the app to read to make your likes count. 🙏🏻